Tiêu đề Thanh Task 2 8899 Is it beneficial for older people to keep working.docx ✅

IELTS Corrections Page 1 of 12 For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony 12 August 202411 August 2024 OVERALL BAND SCORE 8.5 8+8+9+9 SEE BELOW C&C LR GRA MODEL ANSWER WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
IELTS Corrections Page 2 of 12 For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony 12 August 202411 August 2024 Original answer - It is often proposed that older people should be allowed to remain in the workforce if they so desire. I also hold this view. One common counterargument is that older people lack the physical and mental capacity to work effectively. Proponents of this thinking cite numerous studies showing that health often declines with age. However, this perspective glosses over the current leaps in medical technologies that have significantly improved the well-being of older adults. In other words, we need to dispel the stereotype that age equates to incapacity. It is also important to note that continued employment can be immensely beneficial for the elderly. Work provides structure, social interaction, and a sense of purpose, all of which are vital for mental well- being. It also promotes physical activity and cognitive engagement, mitigating the risk of age-related decline. Research has shown that individuals who remain active in their later years often experience better overall health and longevity. The argument in favor of allowing elders to continue working is further strengthened by the global trend of aging populations. Countries with a growing proportion of older citizens, including Sweden, Japan, and Germany, face increased pressure on social welfare systems and pension funds. Allowing and encouraging older individuals to continue working can alleviate this burden, contributing to economic stability and reducing the dependency ratio. To summarize, I strongly advocate for the inclusion of older individuals in the labor workforce. Not only can it improve their wellbeing, but it can also address economic challenges posed by ageing populations.
IELTS Corrections Page 3 of 12 For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony 12 August 202411 August 2024 OVERALL BAND SCORE 8.5 8+8+9+9 TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score 8 I’d say it’s risky to misinterpret the question by writing about whether they should be allowed to continue working. It’s not implied by the question, and neither is it the law anywhere in the world, as far as I know. It’s not necessary to write a paragraph against the proposition, but if I did so, it add the proviso – provided that they are healthy enough to do so. Vocabulary is used accurately with sufficient flexibility to show precise meaning, and with only minor inaccuracies, which is good for a band score 8. I’m not as impressed as you are by current leaps in medical technologies, especially as current advice includes such absurdities as to stop eating red meat and to not go out in the sun, LOL. You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed. Your position is coherent and well-argued. The ideas are relevant, extended and there are no contradictions. ADVICE ON BRAINSTORMING FOR TASK 2 As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly ask yourself if you’re answering the question. Check back to the question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're
IELTS Corrections Page 4 of 12 For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony 12 August 202411 August 2024 directly relevant.  Make sure your introduction directly addresses the question.  Make sure your ideas address all parts of the question. If the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least 2.  Make sure your main ideas, as stated in the first sentence of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question.  Make sure your supporting ideas, which follow the main ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea.  Be especially careful if you’ve answered similar question before, as there will always be important differences.  Make sure your conclusion directly answers the question, that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction. It is often proposed that older people should be allowed to remain in the workforce if they so desire. I also hold this view. One common counterargument is that older people lack the physical and mental capacity to work effectively. Proponents of this thinking cite numerous studies showing that health often declines with age. However, this perspective glosses over the current leaps in medical technologies that have significantly improved the well-being of older adults. In other words, we need to dispel the stereotype that age equates to incapacity. It is also important to note that continued employment can be immensely beneficial for the elderly. Work provides structure, social interaction, and a sense of purpose, all of which are vital for mental well- being. It also promotes physical activity and cognitive engagement, mitigating the risk of age-related decline. Research has shown that individuals who remain active in their later years often experience better overall health and longevity.