Title Thanh Task 2 8999 Subsidising the arts is a waste of money.docx ✅

IELTS Corrections Page 1 of 12 For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony 13 August 202412 August 2024 OVERALL BAND SCORE 8.5 8+9+9+9 SEE BELOW C&C LR GRA MODEL ANSWER WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments should invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
IELTS Corrections Page 2 of 12 For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony 13 August 202412 August 2024 Original answer - Some people claim that government investment in the arts is wasteful and should instead be redirected toward public services. While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I would contend that investing in the arts is perfectly justifiable. Granted, critics often argue that public services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure are essential for the welfare of the citizenry and therefore should be the priority in government spending. They might also add that in the face of budget constraints, it seems frivolous to allocate scarce resources to the arts, which are often seen as non-essential. Nevertheless, opponents of funding the arts often fail to factor in the substantial economic benefits of this investment. This is evidenced by billions of dollars annually reaped from songs, movies, and art exhibitions, among many other forms of art. It is also noteworthy that the profits gained from this domain can be used to improve public services, which is a testament to the state’s smart investment in the artistic fields. The argument in favor of subsidizing the arts is further strengthened by their critical role in the enrichment of society. They serve as a repository of a society's cultural heritage, connecting individuals to their history, tradition, and identity. For instance, traditional dances and music often tell stories of ancestors, which can instill a sense of pride and belonging among citizens. Also, the arts often have a profound impact on an individual’s mental health and creativity. Engaging in or even simply appreciating art can be incredibly therapeutic and has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. Considering these factors, if the government stopped financially supporting the arts, national cultural values as well as people’s well-being could be jeopardized. To summarize, while the allocation of government funds must undoubtedly address public services, dismissing investment in the arts as wasteful is a misguided stance. The arts bring immeasurable cultural, social, and economic benefits to society that not only enrich our lives but also contribute to a balanced, progressive society.
IELTS Corrections Page 3 of 12 For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony 13 August 202412 August 2024 OVERALL BAND SCORE 8.5 8+9+9+9 TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score 8 I think the argument about mental health is pretty weak. Better ones would be to point out that if traditional local art is not protected – ie subsidised – it could be lost forever, and that the government has a responsibility to preserve the cultures. You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed. Your position is coherent and well-argued. The ideas are relevant, extended and there are no contradictions. ADVICE ON BRAINSTORMING FOR TASK 2 As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly ask yourself if you’re answering the question. Check back to the question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're directly relevant.  Make sure your introduction directly addresses the question.  Make sure your ideas address all parts of the question. If the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least 2.  Make sure your main ideas, as stated in the first sentence of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question.  Make sure your supporting ideas, which follow the main ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea.
IELTS Corrections Page 4 of 12 For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony 13 August 202412 August 2024  Be especially careful if you’ve answered similar question before, as there will always be important differences.  Make sure your conclusion directly answers the question, that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction. Some people claim that government investment in the arts is wasteful and should instead be redirected toward public services. While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I would contend that investing in the arts is perfectly justifiable. Granted, critics often argue that public services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure are essential for the welfare of the citizenry and therefore should be the priority in government spending. They might also add that in the face of budget constraints, it seems frivolous to allocate scarce resources to the arts, which are often seen as non-essential. Nevertheless, opponents of funding the arts often fail to factor in the substantial economic benefits of this investment. This is evidenced by billions of dollars annually reaped from songs, movies, and art exhibitions, among many other forms of art. It is also noteworthy that the profits gained from this domain can be used to improve public services, which is a testament to the state’s smart investment in the artistic fields. The argument in favor of subsidizing the arts is further strengthened by their critical role in the enrichment of society. They serve as a repository of a society's cultural heritage, connecting individuals to their history, tradition, and identity. For instance, traditional dances and music often tell stories of ancestors, which can instill a sense of pride and belonging among citizens. Also, the arts often have a profound impact on an individual’s mental health and creativity. Engaging in or even simply appreciating art can be incredibly therapeutic and has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. Considering these factors, if the government stopped financially supporting the arts, national cultural values as well as people’s well-being could be jeopardized.